January 31, 2012

Today is probably the last morning for a while that I will enjoy a few hours to myself (yes, a luxury that many post-college people haven’t had in years), and that makes me nervous. So much is just beginning, and I often find beginnings are harder than endings. I got the syllabus for my writing classes last night (35,000 words in the next 3 months!!), and my internship at Carol Mann Agency starts tomorrow. I am excited, but also (maybe even equally) scared.

Last night in my first writing class, our professor filled time (stalling for our other professor, who got on the wrong subway) by having us go around the room and share our plans for the future. I was last in the circle, and I began to panic a little bit as I listened to my fellow classmates’ very specific, writerly dreams (editing in London, MFA from Yale…). And then I said I would love to live on a farm. I was embarrassed about this answer for multiple reasons, but I didn’t have the energy to muster up a more appropriate/less true one. I love writing, and I need to write, but I’m pretty sure I’m not cut out for “the writing industry.” Of course, I’m not sure I’m cut out for farm life either (ha), but that’s dreamier to me than a cross-country book tour.

That said, I am happy to be here.  I feel very out of place, but I know that’s okay. I think this city has a lot to teach me, and so do my professors. I want to be a good listener this semester…if only those taxi cabs outside my window would quit honking long enough for me to think. (But really, honking is a major form of communication here. It reminds me of a recent episode of 60 Minutes that showed this woman in Africa who has spent the past few decades de-coding elephant noises. Each noise doesn’t sound very unique to the untrained ear, but she has translated them based on the elephants’ behavior as they make the noise. Similarly, I am convinced that a Dictionary of Taxi Honks would be both useful and enlightening.)